As a Colorado wedding and elopement photographer for over a decade, it's safe to say I've seen an abundance of trends come and go. There was the "selective color" trend where the photograph was in black and white but one part of the image would be in bright, overly saturated color (usually the bride's bouquet). There was the barn trend. There were that couple of years where everything was stacked on old suitcases (for real). There's the trend of blurry, grainy, film-inspired photos (which I have unabashedly jumped on). But there is a trend that's been happening the past few years where people are just... not getting married. I'm not even talking about the couples who forego the gigantic 300-guest extravaganzas and opt for smaller, micro-weddings or even just elopements for the two of them. I'm talking about people just not getting married. Period.
There's the rise of the costs of living to consider, some people say. It's a fact that the cost of living has not kept pace with wages. It's true that weddings are luxury events that are also growing more expensive by the year. Couples are delaying the time frame to (or choosing not to) buy homes, start families, stick with one life-time career, etc due to financial stress. It's no wonder that weddings have also been on the chopping block.
Another factor is the change in social norms. My little brother is in his mid-20s and has experienced the shift away from monogamous relationships, alternative lifestyles, focusing on personal growth and their career instead of romantic relationships or people simply choose non-traditional relationship structures like cohabitation without marriage. Some LGBTQ couples fear that changing politics might make their marriage void in certain states anyway. Some people prioritize independence and autonomy in their lives. They may feel that marriage could limit their freedom or autonomy, leading them to choose other forms of relationships or remaining single.
Any way you look at it, wedding vendors have been noticing a general decline in marriages in the past few years. While driving home from a LGBTQ wedding the other day, I got to thinking about the role of marriage and weddings in our society and if they still serve any purpose. In short, I think they do. And here's why.
Straight Up Celebration
Life is hard. Like life is really hard. Most people who've followed my journey know it's been fraught with loss and grief and everyone has their own personal trauma and tragedy. Wedding celebrations are a slice of life that's just 100% about love and joy. Weddings also allow time for reflection on loss if people choose to have a table to honor loved ones who have passed. Couples who have lost family members, parents or special friends in their lives can feel a little sadness on their wedding day but most people report feelings of fullness and lightness as they imagine their loved ones celebrating with them.
Then there are couples who's families won't celebrate with them. Perhaps they don't approve in their choice of partner. In such cases, it is doubly important to surround yourself with people who genuinely love, care and support you and your union. Throw that party and have that ceremony to honor your partner and to say to the world, Here We Are! And then let the people who do show up shower their love upon you all day.
Spiritual Importance
For many people, weddings carry significant cultural or religious importance. They may involve traditional rituals, customs, and ceremonies that have been passed down through generations, serving as a way to honor cultural heritage or religious beliefs. Even if people don't ascribe to any single religion, people still describe the act of saying vows and exchanging rings as a sacrament and something precious. Even if it's just in the eyes of the universe, many people feel deep spiritual satisfaction with a traditional wedding or elopement celebration.
I've photographed and filmed huge Catholic Mass Celebrations or intimate log-cabin-church celebrations so far in the mountains you need a jeep to make it up. I've photographed handfastings, Indian celebrations, Jewish weddings and everything in-between. Each is beautiful and uniquely meaningful (stomping on the glass is still my favorite!)
Milestone and Rite of Passage
Getting married is often seen as a major milestone and rite of passage in someone's life. It marks the beginning of a new chapter and signifies the transition from being single to being part of a committed partnership. The act of having a wedding celebration with guests and family members is a rite of passage into a larger human community. They provide a chance for cherished family members and friends to come together, strengthen relationships, and show support for the couple as they embark on their life journey together.
I've shot weddings that have coincided with buying new houses, moving across country or graduating for med school (really!) In each case, setting aside time to spend with friends and family and celebration has never been regretted.
Some people would argue that weddings are archaic, expensive traditions steeped in prejudice and misogyny. I'd argue that they are one of the few enduring human traditions that embrace celebration, joy and a benchmark in life. Whether people decide to throw a lavish affair with tuxes and cocktail dresses or if they decide to elope on a mountain in Colorado, I'm here for that celebration and I'm here to document it.